Toby Keith is Right On

Beer swillin’ chicken hawk Toby Keith is my kind of performer.  First he writes a song about lynching with code words to incite the Rush Limbaugh-Timothy McVeigh crowd. Then he insults African-Americans and Barrack Obama.

“I think the black people would say he [Obama] don’t talk, act or carry himself as a black person,” Keith said on CNN.  “I don’t know what that means,” Keith drawled, “but I think that that’s what they would say. Even though the black society would pull for him I still think that they think in the back of their mind that the only reason he is in [the general election] is because he talks, acts and carries himself as a Caucasian.”

Another reason to vote for John McCain!

Defending Racist Attacks

Today many of you saw Traitor Joe on NBC defending McCain’s ad comparing Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.  Of course the ads were silly, reeking of jealousy of Obama’s popularity and played upon racist fears of a black man dating white women.  But if someone punks me out, like Bush and Cheney did years ago, I will defend them to the death.

In fact, if Cheney told me to support Josef Stalin I would do so with the same conviction, patronizing tone and self-righteousness.  That’s just Me, Traitor Joe, as I race to become to the biggest Benedict Arnold in American history.  We don’t need to address the war, the deficit or the recession turning into a Depression thanks to sellouts like Me.  We need to attack and lie.  That’s the Republican way!

That uppity Obama playing the Race Card

Please join me in congratulating ABC News in joining the McCain camp by running a headline that reads: “Obama Camp Admits Playing Race Card.”  No one in the Obama camp has actually admitted this, so it’s a lie  but that’s OK.  Us McCain folks are trying to make this an issue because we lose on the economy, taxes, the War and in general competence.  Thank God you CAN fool most of the people most of the time.  Next up, we’re going to employ more Swift Boat tactics in lieu of improving American society.  Can we Republicans stoop any lower?  YES WE CAN!

Lying is fine, if it’s for McCain

Everyone knows I claim to be Jewish and I claim to be honest and religious.  So it’s a sin to lie.  Right?  Not so fast.  I just defended all of John McCain’s attack ads against Senator Obama even though they are filled with lies.  Why?  Because the greater good is to elect a man who will continue waging a disastrous war in the Middle East costing us lives, billions of dollars, worldwide respect and safety for all Americans.

McCain’s ad comparing Obama to Britney Spears is perfect.  It compares the two candidates in a “creative” way and people should lighten up. To some extent the appearance of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears — people complain about it — they should just relax and enjoy it. Who’s ready to lead America?  If the answer is “off a cliff” you know it’s John McCain!  Let him finish the great work started by Cheney and Bush.

New York Times loves me

Just read this story … love it!

Clearly, Mr. Lieberman’s already precarious marriage with the Democrats has reached a new level of discord and could be approaching divorce, if not necessarily a remarriage into the Republican Party. The strain has been rooted largely in Mr. Lieberman’s steadfast support for the Bush administration’s engagement in Iraq and his hawkish views on Iran. He has not ruled out switching parties but has stopped short of saying he has moved so far from the Democratic Party — or, in his view, the other way around — that he is at a point of no return.

“I don’t have any line that I have in my mind,” Mr. Lieberman said in an interview. “If it happened, I’d know it when I saw it.”

In other words, I don’t have any morals or values, and I’m the best judge of my own lack of ethics.

Obama is such a meanie

That big jerk Barrack Obama slapped me down just because I keep lying about his record, his positions and sneakily suggest he’s a Muslim who hates Israel.  How can he pick on a poor stupid man like me?  Mommie, help me! 

My New Boyfriend

Gosh, I feel like a school girl with a crush on the town bully!  Here’s a photo of my Dream Man … he’s got the mean, cynical streak and lack of empathy of George W. Bush with the temper, misogyny and fear-mongering of John McCain.

Neither one is very good with facts and they are both super-rich!  Gosh, what’s a girl to do?

I love Pastor Hagee

I will be headlining Pastor John Hagee’s 2008 “Christians United For Israel” Washington-Israel Summit this July 22. My topics will be backstabbing, using religion as a shield, using religion as a weapon and smearing your enemies while you play the victim. As you know, Pastor Hagee wants to preserve and protect Israel so the Rapture can occur sending all the Christians to heaven and the pagans - including the Jews - to Hell.  Hagee said many things I agree with including Hitler “was doing God’s work,” the Catholic church is “the great whore” and Hurricane Katrina was God’s wrath for a homosexual parade. What a peacemaker! Now if only we can discuss extending the Iraq War and cutting benefits for those ungrateful soldiers it’ll be a home run.

I lied about my Website being Hacked

It was revealed yesterday that I lied about my website being hacked during my last Senate run. My own campaign was solely responsible for this incompetence, and we knew it at the time, but it was politically expedient to blame my opponent Ned Lamont to rack up sympathy points.

As the AP noted, “A federal investigation of Sen. Joe Lieberman’s Web site crash during his re-election campaign found that it was his own fault and not supporters of Democratic challenger Ned Lamont, whom Lieberman implied were responsible.”

So I lied. So? You dummies in the media fell for it, and the voters believed me. Can you believe it? Those suckers thought I would pull out of Iraq. Like I said, you can fool all of the people all of the time .. in Connecticut.

Now for that jerk Keith Olbermann on MSNBC … he called me the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD on Wednesday, April 9.  I guess he’s not patriotic and doesn’t support the troops.  He’s not a real American Hero like me and the folks at Fox News, so I’m just going to pretend he doesn’t exist.   Nyah Nyah.

3 Cheers for Hillary

Most people think Traitor Joe is the biggest Benedict Arnold for America and the Democrats. But Hillary is gaining on me fast. The NY Times says she only has a 5% chance of winning but she’s willing to burn down the party for an impossible victory.

“Let’s take a look at what she’s going to put her party through for the sake of that 5 percent chance: The Democratic Party is probably going to have to endure another three months of daily sniping. For another three months, we’ll have the Carvilles likening the Obamaites to Judas and former generals accusing Clintonites of McCarthyism … For three more months (maybe more!) the campaign will proceed along in its Verdun-like pattern. There will be a steady rifle fire of character assassination from the underlings, interrupted by the occasional firestorm of artillery when the contest touches upon race, gender or patriotism. The policy debates between the two have been long exhausted, so the only way to get the public really engaged is by poking some raw national wound.”

Way to go, Hillary! If you can’t win, make sure you hand the Presidency to John McCain and turn off a whole new generation of young voters just to feed your massive ego.